Fifty Shades of Why

Dictionary.com may be unable to love me back, but at least it knows the definitions of words.

I’m still not certain what Ana’s inner goddess is supposed to represent. Her ‘subconscious’ is clearly her negative self-talk, but her inner goddess is less clear-cut. The goddess might represent Ana’s sexuality, but I can’t tell. I mean, we’ve only seen her three times thus far.

I’m sure we’ll see many repetitive comments about her in future, with which we will be able to surmise her role in Ana’s overpopulated inner landscape.

Come on, everybody! Let’s list every word for penis that we can think of. It’ll be fun.

“His molten eyes ooze out of his head, leaving trails of charred flesh in their wake.”

I’ve heard a lot of people talk about how hardcore Fifty Shades is. I don’t know if you can call a novel which refuses to call a cock a cock ‘hardcore’.

Well, half the book.

Also: nooooooo. Nooo. No.

Sure, yeah, plenty of us name our dicks. But do we expect our partners to know their names?

“I have no gag reflex, Christian!”

(Image source)

I feel like a literary parrot again.

“E.L’s saying the same thing over and over. E.L’s saying the same thing over and over. E.L’s saying the same thing oooooovvvvvvvvveeeeer aaaaaannnnnddddd oooooovvvvvvvvveeeeer. Squawk.”

We’re going to be caught in a strange loop of sex scenes. HELP.