Fifty Shades of Why

New York Times #1 bestseller. Adapted from Twilight fanfiction.
This can't possibly end well.

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Anonymous asked: I don't think he's suggesting her "happiness at his happiness" is invalid. I think he's trying to convince her she didn't actually feel "demeaned, debased, abused and assaulted," but only thinks she did because she's supposed to feel that way... because clearly he knows better than she does and so gets to make that call. *Teeth grinding*

That sounds more accurate. Ugh.

Filed under abuse gaslighting emotional abuse Anonymous asks

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Anonymous asked: Is it possible that later in the story Ana figures out Christian is bad for her and this is really about an innocent girl developing her inner strength to overcome adversity in an abusive relationship? Or even Christian learning that he's not just fucked up he really is just an asshole and strives to change for the better? Or am I giving E.L. way too much credit? I hope not, I know way too many people who are in love with this book there has to be some redeeming quality

I believe they break up at the end of this book, but then wind up married by the end of the trilogy. I’m afraid you are, indeed, giving E.L. too much credit.

Filed under abuse Anonymous asks

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Anonymous asked: it would be one thing if E.L. had a fetish for this type of thing, and was well aware that this type of relationship, in reality, is not healthy. but she certainly seems to think that this is not only healthy, but romantic somehow, and a lot of people are seeing it the same way. I could understand if E.L. was just kinky but this is a different area entirely. :/

You hit the nail on the head, anon. That’s the general thrust of this entire blog.

Filed under No pun intended. bad bdsm Anonymous asks

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Anonymous asked: Is it just me or is 50shades an instruction manual for (rich) abusers?

It sure seems like it, which is terrifying when you realize that the woman who wrote it did so to act out a sexual fantasy of hers.

Filed under abuse Anonymous asks

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Anonymous asked: Different anon here: I just wonder what draws Ana to Christian (I mean, she is not dependent on him or has any children with him which are reasons many victims stay with their abusers). He assaults her which is something she is able to label correctly, he tries to take control of her life without her agreement (the car thing) and she objects, he's just like "I can't hear you. My assistant's gonna take care of the car". She keeps objecting to his actions, he doesn't care, she's still into him????

The main things keeping Ana with Christian appear to be a) bad writing, b) that he’s the only person, including herself, who has ever given her any sexual pleasure, and c) now that Christian has stopped warning Ana to stay away, he’s trying to lock her into the relationship by giving her gifts so she feels like she owes him and implying that she’s already agreed to be with him.

Filed under abuse emotional abuse Anonymous asks

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Anonymous asked: She's couldn't have told Christian how she felt face to face? It's kind of rude of her to unload on Christian when she had a whole night to tell him when he asked and then she springs her true thoughts on him when he leaves. Now he's gonna drive back to her place because he can't stand the thought of her being cross with him and fuck her back into submission and they'll both be late for work. Way to go Ana, get a boyfriend you're not terrified of.

I think you’re missing the bigger issue. Yes, it’s not an ideal way to tell someone how you feel, and yes, they’ll be late for work, but she’s so scared of her boyfriend that she can’t confront him in person because she thinks he’ll assault her.

It’s not on Ana to avoid being in an abusive relationship. It’s Christian’s job not to be abusive.

Filed under Like you should still avoid getting into abusive relationships if you can but if it happens it isn't your fault and you shouldn't blame yourself abuse emotional abuse Anonymous asks

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Anonymous asked: Given how much EL loves her euphemisms — I think you said she uses "vagina" four times in the entire book? — would you do a search in your e-book and see if she ever uses the word "penis"? I have a strong feeling that she wrote an entire porn book without ever once using the proper name for the male genitalia.

You surmised correctly—E.L. doesn’t call a penis a penis once.

An aside: not everyone with a penis is male, and not everyone who’s male has a penis. Please don’t equate penis-having with maleness/masculinity!

Filed under You have permission to unfollow me for my Social Justice Bullshit. euphemization Anonymous asks